The Long Goodbye : Dementia Caregiving

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WTF is a Long Goodbye?
It's why I'm here. And why you're here, too. The time between a dementia diagnosis & death when she's fading away & you're trying to hang on.
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Jodi Sh. Doff
In 2008, 2009 & 2012, she knew something was wrong
All I knew was she was my little mommy and after years of struggle, she deserved the best of everything, even if that meant 11 pairs of the exact same…
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Jodi Sh. Doff
2
Does Frustration + Sleep Deprivation = Shaken Baby / Elder Abuse?
Shaken baby. Elder Abuse. It’s not physically hard to kill someone less powerful than you, and so easy to be driven to that when you're overwhelmed or…
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Jodi Sh. Doff
41
Introducing: The Dirtygirl Diaries & NYC in the 70s & 80s
A new Substack publication. A coming of age memoir in a city on the verge of bankruptcy, the search for truth, love & family in the go-go bars of Times…
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Jodi Sh. Doff
10
The Good Blood, Part 2
Sometimes, the pain of living outweighs the fear of dying. You have the right to decide how much to fight, how long, under what conditions. But you…
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Jodi Sh. Doff
14
🩵 what are you waiting for? 🩵

Recent posts

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Help create an online chat space for us
A private space for us to talk, vent, commiserate, brainstorm, share troubles and resources. You know, to connect about all things caregiving and…
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Jodi Sh. Doff
The Bloods, Part I
Mom’s blood test results came back. Compared to me, her aide, & her doctor, she was the healthiest person in the room. You know, except for the…
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Jodi Sh. Doff
9
Parenting a 94-year-old Toddler
At 30 years old, I was drunk, a danger to all living things. An unfit candidate for mommyhood, I had my tubes tied. The universe, with its dark and…
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Jodi Sh. Doff
4
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grey gardens 11372

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In 2008, 2009 & 2012, she knew something was wrong
All I knew was she was my little mommy and after years of struggle, she deserved the best of everything, even if that meant 11 pairs of the exact same…
 • 
Jodi Sh. Doff
2
The First Health Scare & Love Shows Up When it Shows Up.
originally published: onlythejodi.com June 12, 2009 - At 79, two big things happened. Ma met her Mr. Right, and she had frightening, unexplained medical…
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Jodi Sh. Doff
2
Cohabitating: Me & My Shadow
originally published: onlythejodi.com 6/6/2020. I imagined lots of things that could be problematic when I said come live with me, but becoming one half…
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Jodi Sh. Doff
7
Caregiving Dementia: A Moving Target
6.13.21 When I don't know where I'm going, it's best to start, not at the beginning, but where I am. Except, for someone caregiving for a loved one with…
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Jodi Sh. Doff
6

Resources

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Recipes & Soundtrack
Easy, healthy pureed meals she loves, and the music that keeps things moving, or calms things down.
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Jodi Sh. Doff
It Takes A Village - updated 12.19.24
We can't do this alone. Additional reading, resources, services, podcasts & media.
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Jodi Sh. Doff
This is Not a Link Roundup
Except, it kind of is. Links on death, dying and dementia, a lovely little vid on enjoying death and a band of neuroscientists that'll make you think of…
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Jodi Sh. Doff
9
What to Do When They're Losing Their Mind, So You Don’t Lose Yours Along the Way
Or, Things to Try if You've Ruled Out Murder/Suicide as an Option.
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Jodi Sh. Doff
4
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