27 Comments
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Amy Beeman's avatar

That’s great advice, Ma, and something a lot of people are unable to do. I love the photos!

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Thanks Amy!

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Tess Marshall's avatar

This is love.

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Yup, you betcha.

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Prajna O'Hara's avatar

Become a solid wall of I don’t want to. I know that one and great photos. Always good to see you and your mom and hear your stories.

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Thanks lovey. ❤️

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Subversive Cross Stitch's avatar

Your writing style has evolved right before my eyes. You were good to start with but it’s cool to watch your story expand. 🤗

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Sarah Hauser's avatar

Love this and all your posts about your mom and your relationship with her. So touching❤️

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Thanks Sarah. I'm lucky to have had her. Caring for her has taught me a lot about compassion and love.

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DG's avatar

As in Melville's Bartleby, the Scrivner

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Exactly. Except "I would prefer not to" is a little less abrasive than "No!" and little more sophisticated than "I don't want to."

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Wendy Varley's avatar

What beautiful photographs, Jodi. And a wise sentiment. We could all learn from your mum, but it must drive you nuts when she continues to use ‘No’ so emphatically!

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

She and the whole shenanigans are a lesson in patience. Next weeks post is about how caring for mom, and her aides, have taught me lessons in patience and compassion,

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Leslie Senevey's avatar

Your mom is a wise woman. And wonderful photos. So glad you got that special opportunity.

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Thanks. I’m sorry she was beyond knowing. She’d really loved a camera. ❤️‍🩹

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Amy W's avatar

Love, Love, Love the photos!

And you.

And your writing.

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Love you.

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Victoria's avatar

Gorgeous photos, Jodi. Yep, I've got better at statement-no explanations as a caregiver...why/when people think they deserve an explanation or feel entitled to one - that's the great revealer! Smart cookie Mom.

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

I’ve used “I just don’t want to,” in multiple situations. It’s never popular (especially at my woke work where everything had to be a discussion), but it’s always effective. The older I get, the smarter Mom was.

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Michelle Levy's avatar

Tell this to your daughters… then plan on hearing a flat-out NO from them… and feeling both proud and spurned at the same time 😂

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

I didn't listen, why would anyone else, but it stuck with me and works when I need it to as a grown-assed woman.

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Nan Tepper's avatar

Love you and this, Jodi. Because I want to.

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Thanks lovey

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Nan Tepper's avatar

The pix are beautiful.

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Thanks. It was a great way to celebrate her day, to see an old friend— she’s just starting to have to deal with the disease in her own family, so it was helpful for her as well. And I’ll have these great photos to look back on with the both of us in it.

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Deborah Sosin's avatar

You do "raw, honest, poignant" so brilliantly, Jodi. (I see these words on your book jacket.) The photos are gorgeous.

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Thanks Deb, and happy birthday! I doubt there will ever be a book jacket. I'm enjoying this process, but did not enjoy the pitch and submit to publishers process.

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