After my mother died I got on the back of a bike, because I'm too klutzy to manage being the actual biker, and left the city for two months, was always outside, not locked in to anything except the stupid ass biker I was with. It's not horrible to admit it was a huge relief.
No, it’s not horrible at all. My actual plan involves a somewhat converted transit van and visiting people all over the country and canada and depending on what’s happening in DC, who knows, maybe just staying off the grid…
Nope. Still here. Still kicking. I do fantasize, of course. When she's gone it will more likely be a little more Elvis Has Left The Building and I'll need a few days to collect myself. ❤️🩹
The thing that everyone said that gutted me was "I'm so sorry for your loss" - two reasons - one - it opens the wound - rips it wide open; and two - I wasn't sorry he was gone - his last five weeks were awful for him and he is now at peace. I felt his passing was a blessing-was I wrong? People will also say dumb things like "let me know how I can help." Help what?
I can't even anymore. I know people really do mean well, but when they ask these days, I mostly just say, "She's still here." and they make the sad face. I have had one or two neighbors and friends give me concrete offers like staying with mom if I want to go out at night. Mom's passing will also be a blessing, for both of us. If people say "let me know if I can help," say I'd love not to have to cook for a night or two so if you want to drop off a covered dish, that would be great. I wound up with a family sized tray of lasagna. Some of it is still in the freezer. Came from this post from a year ago: https://jodishdoff.substack.com/p/hows-mom-you-ask?r=3lkhj
I’m with you on just about everything except for the flying a plane and street medic bits. Just nope. And also a little reminder that your mom is very lucky to have you.
Oh, those light planes look like so much fun and I took a Stop the Bleed training the other day that was great. I like that, being the go to in emergencies. But if you'll take the stunt driving course with me....
Love this, Jodi! Especially 24 and 25. There are a few times when I imagine throat-punching people for their overuse of clichés, reductive statements or assumptions
You'll need to make the cocktail shaker flight worthy so you and Mom can make it over to Europe ;-)
Ha! you seem like such the quiet and demure type I can't imagine you hitting anyone at all. I read that last sentence as "make that cocktail shaker FIGHT worthy..." and thought, I don't wanna hit anyone with my mother! But yeah, she's coming everywhere with me. I will be that weird lady sitting alone in a cafe having coffee and talking to a cocktail shaker.
I love it.
After my mother died I got on the back of a bike, because I'm too klutzy to manage being the actual biker, and left the city for two months, was always outside, not locked in to anything except the stupid ass biker I was with. It's not horrible to admit it was a huge relief.
No, it’s not horrible at all. My actual plan involves a somewhat converted transit van and visiting people all over the country and canada and depending on what’s happening in DC, who knows, maybe just staying off the grid…
Well stated. FYI, this too shall pass, and your life will get fuller--at least mine did.
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Would be nice to be young enough to enjoy it though. ❤️🩹
Wow, at first I thought yr mother HAD died! It's likely good therapy & preparation to think ahead--& fantasize even💞
Nope. Still here. Still kicking. I do fantasize, of course. When she's gone it will more likely be a little more Elvis Has Left The Building and I'll need a few days to collect myself. ❤️🩹
The thing that everyone said that gutted me was "I'm so sorry for your loss" - two reasons - one - it opens the wound - rips it wide open; and two - I wasn't sorry he was gone - his last five weeks were awful for him and he is now at peace. I felt his passing was a blessing-was I wrong? People will also say dumb things like "let me know how I can help." Help what?
I can't even anymore. I know people really do mean well, but when they ask these days, I mostly just say, "She's still here." and they make the sad face. I have had one or two neighbors and friends give me concrete offers like staying with mom if I want to go out at night. Mom's passing will also be a blessing, for both of us. If people say "let me know if I can help," say I'd love not to have to cook for a night or two so if you want to drop off a covered dish, that would be great. I wound up with a family sized tray of lasagna. Some of it is still in the freezer. Came from this post from a year ago: https://jodishdoff.substack.com/p/hows-mom-you-ask?r=3lkhj
I'm always down if someone else wants to cook! We never got that offer
I’m with you on just about everything except for the flying a plane and street medic bits. Just nope. And also a little reminder that your mom is very lucky to have you.
Oh, those light planes look like so much fun and I took a Stop the Bleed training the other day that was great. I like that, being the go to in emergencies. But if you'll take the stunt driving course with me....
Deal!
Love this, Jodi! Especially 24 and 25. There are a few times when I imagine throat-punching people for their overuse of clichés, reductive statements or assumptions
You'll need to make the cocktail shaker flight worthy so you and Mom can make it over to Europe ;-)
Ha! you seem like such the quiet and demure type I can't imagine you hitting anyone at all. I read that last sentence as "make that cocktail shaker FIGHT worthy..." and thought, I don't wanna hit anyone with my mother! But yeah, she's coming everywhere with me. I will be that weird lady sitting alone in a cafe having coffee and talking to a cocktail shaker.
🤣
That's a very stylish cremains container—very fitting for Elayne. I have a coffee can with my name stickered on it for when I go.
I have my heart set on Potters Field on Hart's Island....