My hair is pretty good too. Those two things are going to have to get me through the next 25 or 30 years. Also, I didn't always have this attitude. I was a surly kid, a nasty bartender, and a couple of other not pleasant things. When I first got sober, people in meetings were afraid of me - they'd tell me that years and years later. It took 20 years in recovery for me to let go of my anger. Total work in progress.😉
Beautiful post- so beautifully written and resonates on so many levels. Going through the ups and downs and decision making and uncertainty. It’s very hard. I love what you say about being present. It’s something I think about every day, and that animals constantly remind me about the importance of. Your love and patience is so inspiring.
The portrait of your mom juxtaposed with the AI image is stunning. On another note, I forgot about Roger Stone! I wonder what he's up to? But seriously, another wonderful literary offering. Keep writing, keep sharing!
Hello Jodi, I love to read your lived experience: honest, raw, wise, and always laced with a proper dose of humor.
This line hits me: "My point is, we don’t know. I don’t know. Mom’s dementia, forcing me to be in the moment over and over actually makes living through all of this easier to bear."
Thank you.
And you're not dead until you're dead. Savoring the zig-zag wandering with you.
I know you know. The world is going to shit out there, and with limited emotional resources, focusing on our family needs takes priority. Not dead yet is my favorite answer when someone asks how I am. "Not dead yet, but it's still early. Anything could happen."
I love this one and am sure you've coined a new term: Wandering Dementia. Plus, you unearthed a money-making phrase for plaques, posters, desktop tchotchkes, etc--Be Here Now. You could go down in history!
I wish I could claim Be Here Now, but it predates my usage by decades. It was the name of the Erhard Seminar Training seminars. And probably a lot of other conciousness raising groups in the 70s. I'll have to find something else to make me a historical figure worthy of desktop tchotchkes!
Your kindness, humor, and patience are an inspiration for me. My father has late-stage Parkinson's and not even being a full-time caretaker, it's just so damn hard. I wish I had even a smidge of your grace, which I keep hoping will rub off on me even a little.
It's really hard and painful and exhausting, both physically and more so, I think, emotionally. Caregiver or not, you find yourself watching someone you love crumble, grieving someone who is still here, even when they're not. Figuring out where your own boundaries are. It's all about love, having a place to vent, and having someone(s) to help. I wish you the best, you and I'm guessing your Mom who is doing a lot of the caring? And I wish your Dad an easy and painless exit. My job with my mom is simply to keep her free from fear and pain. Anything else is gravy. My only advice is try to remember you're there to be of service, keep your face towards the sun and just do the next right thing, whatever that is at the moment. 🩷
Thank you for such a thoughtful reply. Yes, the emotional parts of this are more difficult - so many layers of trauma. It's hard to wrap your head around all the cruel suffering we're all going through in these diseases that seem to last forever, instead of a the nice, painless exit we had hoped for.
Certainly you are better qualified than some recently appointed Health Director of USA
You have the best attitude!
My hair is pretty good too. Those two things are going to have to get me through the next 25 or 30 years. Also, I didn't always have this attitude. I was a surly kid, a nasty bartender, and a couple of other not pleasant things. When I first got sober, people in meetings were afraid of me - they'd tell me that years and years later. It took 20 years in recovery for me to let go of my anger. Total work in progress.😉
Yes I've noticed your hair!
Beautiful post- so beautifully written and resonates on so many levels. Going through the ups and downs and decision making and uncertainty. It’s very hard. I love what you say about being present. It’s something I think about every day, and that animals constantly remind me about the importance of. Your love and patience is so inspiring.
Animals are the best teachers for being in the moment. They are ALWAYS in the moment. Thanks for your eyeballs and your kind words.
Love Anecdotal Science. Now there is something we can trust.
I think I have a new career option there...
Love this a lot. It’s a great reminder to just enjoy this moment.
That's all we have, innit? Just this moment. I know you know.
The portrait of your mom juxtaposed with the AI image is stunning. On another note, I forgot about Roger Stone! I wonder what he's up to? But seriously, another wonderful literary offering. Keep writing, keep sharing!
Thanks mamaleh! I feel guilty about using AI for some of these images, but it is fun.
Hello Jodi, I love to read your lived experience: honest, raw, wise, and always laced with a proper dose of humor.
This line hits me: "My point is, we don’t know. I don’t know. Mom’s dementia, forcing me to be in the moment over and over actually makes living through all of this easier to bear."
Thank you.
And you're not dead until you're dead. Savoring the zig-zag wandering with you.
Hugs, P
I know you know. The world is going to shit out there, and with limited emotional resources, focusing on our family needs takes priority. Not dead yet is my favorite answer when someone asks how I am. "Not dead yet, but it's still early. Anything could happen."
Love you, this and mom!
I love this one and am sure you've coined a new term: Wandering Dementia. Plus, you unearthed a money-making phrase for plaques, posters, desktop tchotchkes, etc--Be Here Now. You could go down in history!
I wish I could claim Be Here Now, but it predates my usage by decades. It was the name of the Erhard Seminar Training seminars. And probably a lot of other conciousness raising groups in the 70s. I'll have to find something else to make me a historical figure worthy of desktop tchotchkes!
Your kindness, humor, and patience are an inspiration for me. My father has late-stage Parkinson's and not even being a full-time caretaker, it's just so damn hard. I wish I had even a smidge of your grace, which I keep hoping will rub off on me even a little.
It's really hard and painful and exhausting, both physically and more so, I think, emotionally. Caregiver or not, you find yourself watching someone you love crumble, grieving someone who is still here, even when they're not. Figuring out where your own boundaries are. It's all about love, having a place to vent, and having someone(s) to help. I wish you the best, you and I'm guessing your Mom who is doing a lot of the caring? And I wish your Dad an easy and painless exit. My job with my mom is simply to keep her free from fear and pain. Anything else is gravy. My only advice is try to remember you're there to be of service, keep your face towards the sun and just do the next right thing, whatever that is at the moment. 🩷
Thank you for such a thoughtful reply. Yes, the emotional parts of this are more difficult - so many layers of trauma. It's hard to wrap your head around all the cruel suffering we're all going through in these diseases that seem to last forever, instead of a the nice, painless exit we had hoped for.