Wonderful, Jodi. I'm laughing out loud at my desk at 7:30 on a rainy Saturday morning. (Your captions crack me up.) I'm sure I told you the story about my mom at 95 being hospitalized with C-diff and pneumonia and the doctor said we'd need to consider hospice and to tell Mom about that plan. She sat right up and said, "Hospice? I don't want to go to hospice! I want to go to Marshall's and get a new pair of pants!" She wasn't demented at the time. She slipped a bit mentally over her remaining four years (but always knew who I was and was basically alert/oriented). Sending you heart-filled wishes for continued humor and resilience. I know you know you're not alone.
LOVE the water guns and now I have images of lots of bedazzled or leopard print rollators around the city stopping traffic...Did they make the traffic light longer for your Mom, on purpose? 🤣 Maybe the Italian traffic guy likes her too! (read your comment below!)
Someday in the future we'll do water fights and pee a little too! xo
Ooof. More power to you. My mother had COPD. The doctor told her if she didn't go to the hospital she could be dead in 6 months. Wrong. We put DNR signs up and a week later she left. A gift for her, for me, and really, I think, courageous. She was done with interventions.
I understand that. She got, as requested, a DNR bracelet for her 88th birthday, we haven't intervened in over a decade. When Mom moved in almost seven years ago, she was not expected to last more than a year. We've had her on hospice twice, said goodbye half a dozen times and she bounces back. Good genes. A total crackpot, lovable most of the time, lost other times, but healthy. Part of me wishes she'd made the exit decision when she could have, another part of me loves her more each day and is grateful for the way she's opened my heart. And yet another part of me wonders when I get my freedom (even though I know it's my choice). I'm sorry for the loss of your mom, time or not, it's still a great loss.
Oh my God, I relate so much to this, even the love of leopard print--but am finding my mom's suicidality so much less humorous! lanettes.substack.com (My mother tried to kill herself--again.)
whoa. That's a lot. I don't know how much of a sense of humor I'd have in your shoes. Father, brothers, child, mother. it's too much. Your reference to moms "geographic cure" sounds like you've found your way into one or more 12-step recovery programs, thank goodness for those, right? Is there one for Adult Children of Narcissists? the PACE program sounds marvelous, a real life saver. We were lucky enough that mom had passive income that covered her assisted living while she was there. She absolutely blossomed.
Without humor, our home would have been the sight of a murder / suicide. Both the home we live in now, together, and the one I grew up in. Laughter, and the mantra of "You can always start your day over at any time" keep me sane these days. Especially these days.
The water guns were fun until...one day she refused to get out of the kitchen chair (this was the day we decided she would never sit in a chair again, only the wheelchair) for hours, until I finally, playfully, squirted her with the water gun. That set off a good ten minutes of screaming No No No NO on the top of her lungs. Non-stop. Never did that again. Dementia. Like a twisted Secret Santa, you never know what you're going to get.
I feel horrible because this made me laugh. You have such a good sense of humor and I know how painful this must be at times what endearing patients you have I am inspired by you always.
Did you read about Libby?
I am blessed to have her laughter and it’s a mixed blessing for sure
Don't feel bad. I'm grateful her memory is so short very often. I havent' gotten to yours yet, so much piled up while I was in Woodstock, I'm still catching up but we have that in common, that understanding of the mixed blessing. ❤️🩹
I’m with Mom on this one. I became an atheist at 11 and never strayed. I also believe in an exit strategy, but it’s gonna be unmessy, like carbon monoxide.
Wonderful, Jodi. I'm laughing out loud at my desk at 7:30 on a rainy Saturday morning. (Your captions crack me up.) I'm sure I told you the story about my mom at 95 being hospitalized with C-diff and pneumonia and the doctor said we'd need to consider hospice and to tell Mom about that plan. She sat right up and said, "Hospice? I don't want to go to hospice! I want to go to Marshall's and get a new pair of pants!" She wasn't demented at the time. She slipped a bit mentally over her remaining four years (but always knew who I was and was basically alert/oriented). Sending you heart-filled wishes for continued humor and resilience. I know you know you're not alone.
I don't think I did hear that story, I love it! I do know, and I share these anecdotes for the amusement of all. 😉
LOVE the water guns and now I have images of lots of bedazzled or leopard print rollators around the city stopping traffic...Did they make the traffic light longer for your Mom, on purpose? 🤣 Maybe the Italian traffic guy likes her too! (read your comment below!)
Someday in the future we'll do water fights and pee a little too! xo
Ooof. More power to you. My mother had COPD. The doctor told her if she didn't go to the hospital she could be dead in 6 months. Wrong. We put DNR signs up and a week later she left. A gift for her, for me, and really, I think, courageous. She was done with interventions.
I understand that. She got, as requested, a DNR bracelet for her 88th birthday, we haven't intervened in over a decade. When Mom moved in almost seven years ago, she was not expected to last more than a year. We've had her on hospice twice, said goodbye half a dozen times and she bounces back. Good genes. A total crackpot, lovable most of the time, lost other times, but healthy. Part of me wishes she'd made the exit decision when she could have, another part of me loves her more each day and is grateful for the way she's opened my heart. And yet another part of me wonders when I get my freedom (even though I know it's my choice). I'm sorry for the loss of your mom, time or not, it's still a great loss.
What heart and resilience and perspective you have.
Oh my God, I relate so much to this, even the love of leopard print--but am finding my mom's suicidality so much less humorous! lanettes.substack.com (My mother tried to kill herself--again.)
https://open.substack.com/pub/lanettes/p/my-mother-tried-to-kill-herself?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=1n2u6
whoa. That's a lot. I don't know how much of a sense of humor I'd have in your shoes. Father, brothers, child, mother. it's too much. Your reference to moms "geographic cure" sounds like you've found your way into one or more 12-step recovery programs, thank goodness for those, right? Is there one for Adult Children of Narcissists? the PACE program sounds marvelous, a real life saver. We were lucky enough that mom had passive income that covered her assisted living while she was there. She absolutely blossomed.
Sending love. To you. To your heart.
Great photos and writing.
Humor and a good meal when stuck in the hospital have always been my go to when Mom has a trip to the emergency room.
Without humor, our home would have been the sight of a murder / suicide. Both the home we live in now, together, and the one I grew up in. Laughter, and the mantra of "You can always start your day over at any time" keep me sane these days. Especially these days.
Yes! Humor and beginning again. Good advice to live by!
Love your writing, Jodi, and the humor cum serious/serious cum humor. <3
Thanks Nina. I've said it before, you laugh or you cry. And sometimes, you need to do both.
You two sure know how to have fun. Love the water guns for a soak down—the real shoot down. Your mom raises a good argument.
I had fun reading this little piggy.
The water guns were fun until...one day she refused to get out of the kitchen chair (this was the day we decided she would never sit in a chair again, only the wheelchair) for hours, until I finally, playfully, squirted her with the water gun. That set off a good ten minutes of screaming No No No NO on the top of her lungs. Non-stop. Never did that again. Dementia. Like a twisted Secret Santa, you never know what you're going to get.
I feel horrible because this made me laugh. You have such a good sense of humor and I know how painful this must be at times what endearing patients you have I am inspired by you always.
Did you read about Libby?
I am blessed to have her laughter and it’s a mixed blessing for sure
Thank you
Don't feel bad. I'm grateful her memory is so short very often. I havent' gotten to yours yet, so much piled up while I was in Woodstock, I'm still catching up but we have that in common, that understanding of the mixed blessing. ❤️🩹
🤪🌹🙃♥️
"She doesn’t believe in god, but she does enjoy a good judgement." This is why I adore you. Too good.
I think she had a little crush on the traffic court judge, an older Italian man.
🤣
I’m with Mom on this one. I became an atheist at 11 and never strayed. I also believe in an exit strategy, but it’s gonna be unmessy, like carbon monoxide.
Helium. Untraceable. Painless. And you don’t need a car or a garage. Seriously, instructions are in Final Exit. But don’t go, yet, k?
Not just yet. But I do know about helium!