22 Comments

Thank you for sharing this, Jodi. I identify with so much of this. The caregiver role is 24/7. When it ends, you are free but also unmoored, in danger of floating away. I like your plan. Thank you for including us in this journey.

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I'll be sure to drive by and say hi if and when. You're part of the small solid community of women I look forward to reading and have gotten to feel like a new community of sorts. Have I ever thanked you for recommending me? I've gotten a lot of subscribers thanks to that recommendation.🩵🙏🏼🥰

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You are the best. The best, the best. I'm sure all the things you're saying are true for you now, but you won't know for sure 'til it happens. Maybe you'll never get rid of the stuffies. And the photo of your mom with them needs to go up on a wall (if you haven't already done that. See ET (https://youtu.be/6veTZuM62ZU?si=VtrAAHYwl0C96k-W). And maybe Kevin Eileen will lean on the old dog...Life is full of surprises. And maybe one day you'll love getting hugs. Love you, J.

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Oh, I for sure won’t get rid of them all. There are one or two the side wants. Our favorite, the first “baby” got lost somehow in the street. Working on trust and safety and hugs in therapy. Hopefully, before I’m her age, I’ll be able to cry in someone’s arms🩵

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I hear you about trust and safety. xoxo

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Oh my Jodi, this is good. It’s kind of like a comedy out of hell. With the flame of love burning through it.

So we’re relatable

We had a male living in our house for a while and now we’re all females not that I should care, but I love the freedom of walking around naked at any hour of the day or night. Fuck towels

And I hear the questions of what will anchor you when that which has gathered all of your tension and attention is not needed

A dog is a good idea, but definitely not a puppy

I have that fantasy of purging and then packing up a few things to travel wherever I want for as long as I want.

Well, done .

I’m sending a hug if you want it .

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Maybe we’ll cross paths in the road somewhere!

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That would be nice

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Yay for the luckiest dog. Yay for naked. Yay for crying. Lots of yaying and lots of hugs ❤️.

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Yeah, those are the plans. We’ll see see what happens. You know what they say, man plans. God laughs.

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I love this, Jodi. I don't think I ever really thought about the "what after" here (not my mother), but I've thought about a lot of these things this summer. In some cases, I am "just now" thinking about some of these (after almost six months). I think it's a good thing to be thinking about some of these things that you could or might do.

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I find it’s a stress reliever. 🩵

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Come to Colorado and stay in our guest room for as long as you like. We'll drink tea and read books, and do some stupid stuff that it was impossible for us to do while caring for our mothers. I'll cook anything you want, which I'm pretty damn good at, btw. I'll import my son up from southwestern Colorado to cook us a spectacular meal (he's a chef). We'll wander around downtown and never worry about what time it is or when we need to be home. Come to Denver. <3

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You gave me that book, "The 36-hour day," when? I think it was the year we graduated? January 2013? Almost 12 years ago and I was just at the start of this journey. This is how we do, we learn from each other. Each one teach one. It was an act of kindness and kinship I'll never forget, and I've purchased that book for others, lent mine out, it was the inspiration for this 'stack. You bet your ass, I'll be stopping by. There is a healing feeling already, the idea of traveling around, visiting people who have impacted my life, people I like and love. Following the trail of the warmth.❤️‍🩹

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Love this. You're so fucking honest and brave. Thinking of you (every day).

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Thanks mama!

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It is good to ponder it in advance. The practicalities, the paraphernalia (which you describe so well, Jodi) do tend to rush to the fore. It's hard to think beyond that.

The photo of your mother covered in cuddly toys! Are they all hers, or yours, or both?

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All hers, and only a fraction of what she's collected since being here. She goes no place without at least one. I even got her a few meant for kids to play with a tub for when we get her in the shower. She talks to them, dresses them, tries to rip their arms off—you know, the usual kid stuff.😉 She used to set them up like a Tetris screen, fitting one into another flat on the bed. Hours of entertainment.

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Solid plans, and do swing my way if you rent that van and travel the country!

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Will do!

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Hang in there Jodi, be gentle with yourself, don't plan.

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I have to plan a little, but not wallow. It's the way I'm built. Hope for the best, plan for the worst and be ready for anything.🩵 I'm ready for an old doggo.

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