Dementia caregiving is a never-ending wild ride on an old wooden roller coaster through a funhouse of mirrors in a broken down amusement park. One minute we're ready to say goodbye, the next, she's dancing in her chair and laughing.
And that’s why I have all those caveats written down the ones your mother didn’t have time to : once I lose my sight and cannot navigate my surroundings or cannot converse ,once I don’t know who my kids are ,or where I am ,once I’m dependent on others for my daily needs stop feeding me altogether
Hopefully you've had those discussions with them. I don't think I'd opt out over blindness, but not being able to communicate, or recognize folks. Who knows, Mom seems to have a pretty good time with the invisible pals.
Thanks Ollie. It's really been so nice for me to have some of her back. She's mostly smiley since the new hearing aid. Big lesson for me. And I thought I knew everything!
I gotta tell you, Jodi, you are a magnificent human, and an amazing daughter. I'll never feel that way about my mother, and I find that so heartbreaking for both of us. Looking at that photo of Elayne all I can see is her beauty. She is SO beautiful, and so are you. More will be revealed, lovey. xo
Thanks Nan. Your comment is an inspiration for my next post here. I realize as much as I complain, and as long as it's been, I have it a lot easier than a lot of folks.
More than that, I enjoy her. She's been my strongest emotionally intimate relationship and since I've gotten sober, it's only gotten deeper. I will be lost when she leaves for good, which is why she's getting stuffed in a cocktail shaker I can carry around with me.
Still trying to figure this all out. I'm so happy to be able to give focus a positive answer when they ask about her, that could've been stolen from her, from me. Who knows, all of this is too too...
This is so beautiful, Jodi. A moving tribute to your mom and a testament to your tender love and care for her. And a brutiful (as Glennon Doyle says) glimpse into the slog of caregiving. Also - Coma Mommy made me lol. 😂
"brutiful" I love that, I've never heard it before.
btw - we've had multiple bouts of coma mommy, where she slept for days and we were emotionally preparing our goodbyes, happened 2-3 times, for days and sometimes weeks, only waking momentarily to drink or pee.
We sometimes get mean mommy, but luckily that's mostly a thing of the past but for some time no one could do anything right and it was all bitch, goddamn you, stomping on my feet if I tried to help her on the toilet, and on and on.
She was my little mommy when she shrunk enough that I now tower over her. She was 5'9" and is now 5'4" at most.
And that’s why I have all those caveats written down the ones your mother didn’t have time to : once I lose my sight and cannot navigate my surroundings or cannot converse ,once I don’t know who my kids are ,or where I am ,once I’m dependent on others for my daily needs stop feeding me altogether
Hopefully you've had those discussions with them. I don't think I'd opt out over blindness, but not being able to communicate, or recognize folks. Who knows, Mom seems to have a pretty good time with the invisible pals.
Loved reading this, Jodi.
Thanks Ollie. It's really been so nice for me to have some of her back. She's mostly smiley since the new hearing aid. Big lesson for me. And I thought I knew everything!
I gotta tell you, Jodi, you are a magnificent human, and an amazing daughter. I'll never feel that way about my mother, and I find that so heartbreaking for both of us. Looking at that photo of Elayne all I can see is her beauty. She is SO beautiful, and so are you. More will be revealed, lovey. xo
Thanks Nan. Your comment is an inspiration for my next post here. I realize as much as I complain, and as long as it's been, I have it a lot easier than a lot of folks.
And the great part, which I think a lot of people don't have who may be caregiving, is that you LOVE your mother.
You’re so lucky.
More than that, I enjoy her. She's been my strongest emotionally intimate relationship and since I've gotten sober, it's only gotten deeper. I will be lost when she leaves for good, which is why she's getting stuffed in a cocktail shaker I can carry around with me.
Wow, Jodi, I'm glad your Mom has a new hearing aid. I love your raw truth and how tender you are with your mom. This is a tremendous marathon of awww.
Thanks babes. Looking into hearing aides por moi next. Love to you and your girls
Beautiful, Jodi. You pose questions that others would never dare pose. Keep posing! :)
Still trying to figure this all out. I'm so happy to be able to give focus a positive answer when they ask about her, that could've been stolen from her, from me. Who knows, all of this is too too...
This is so beautiful, Jodi. A moving tribute to your mom and a testament to your tender love and care for her. And a brutiful (as Glennon Doyle says) glimpse into the slog of caregiving. Also - Coma Mommy made me lol. 😂
She’s also Lucky Mommy to have you.
"brutiful" I love that, I've never heard it before.
btw - we've had multiple bouts of coma mommy, where she slept for days and we were emotionally preparing our goodbyes, happened 2-3 times, for days and sometimes weeks, only waking momentarily to drink or pee.
We sometimes get mean mommy, but luckily that's mostly a thing of the past but for some time no one could do anything right and it was all bitch, goddamn you, stomping on my feet if I tried to help her on the toilet, and on and on.
She was my little mommy when she shrunk enough that I now tower over her. She was 5'9" and is now 5'4" at most.
Silly Mommy is by far everyone's favorite.