My vibrant Big Edie was literally shrinking into My Little Mommy. She was taking up less space in the world as she shrank due to bone loss. And the first tendrils of memory loss were making themselves known.
Reading you describe her this way, I have to tell you that I think we were raised by the same mother. Mine was similar, a fighter, a goofball, a refuge for anyone who needed one. All of the dementia things are the same, too, but it's nice to think that our mothers were similar animals. They broke the mold, love.
My sistah from another mutha.♥️ You were there when I started this last chapter of our journey together. You gave me the guide book. I'm happy to know we shared the silly that came before, before we even met,
All so true, Jodi and slightly freaky reliving similar moments that I had with Dad as I read this. We become the grounding reference point, an anchor in time and space. I think dementia removes all the daily routine definitions and references the person has built on feelings.
I learnt, as part of Prof Lisa Feldman Barrett's work that we each build our 'construct' of what good, bad, tasty etc as a feeling over time, as a cumulative/relative to experiences we have in life..and so my own perspective is dementia takes that 'construct' away as it erodes memory. Dad seemed ambivalent to a wide variety of things he previously loved...except for the dram of whiskey I gave him now and then ;-)
I appreciate how you normalise it all through humour. xo
This is another amazing essay in the long line of winners that you publish. Big Edie, Ma, is so blessed to have you as her partner in this long goodbye. Sounds like you got lucky and absorbed some of her best traits. I'm consistently wowed by your thoughtful, often irreverent words. Thank you, thank you! xoxo
Reading you describe her this way, I have to tell you that I think we were raised by the same mother. Mine was similar, a fighter, a goofball, a refuge for anyone who needed one. All of the dementia things are the same, too, but it's nice to think that our mothers were similar animals. They broke the mold, love.
My sistah from another mutha.♥️ You were there when I started this last chapter of our journey together. You gave me the guide book. I'm happy to know we shared the silly that came before, before we even met,
All so true, Jodi and slightly freaky reliving similar moments that I had with Dad as I read this. We become the grounding reference point, an anchor in time and space. I think dementia removes all the daily routine definitions and references the person has built on feelings.
I learnt, as part of Prof Lisa Feldman Barrett's work that we each build our 'construct' of what good, bad, tasty etc as a feeling over time, as a cumulative/relative to experiences we have in life..and so my own perspective is dementia takes that 'construct' away as it erodes memory. Dad seemed ambivalent to a wide variety of things he previously loved...except for the dram of whiskey I gave him now and then ;-)
I appreciate how you normalise it all through humour. xo
This is another amazing essay in the long line of winners that you publish. Big Edie, Ma, is so blessed to have you as her partner in this long goodbye. Sounds like you got lucky and absorbed some of her best traits. I'm consistently wowed by your thoughtful, often irreverent words. Thank you, thank you! xoxo