35 Comments
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Victoria's avatar

Aw, geez hon. BIG hugs. How's your head today?

That photo of you and Cher's is startling!

My go-to is usually ham, not turkey slices.

🤣 "I may imagine myself as Xena’s Hebrew cousin, Yetta the Warrior Princess, but the mirror reflects someone named, “Ma’am” in rhinestoned readers and comfortable shoes."

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ROCHELLE NEWMAN-CARRASCO's avatar

Ahhh…wasn’t the plan. But here we are. Looking for a name and backstory for the scar. Knife fight? Stray cat rescue fight? Projectile something with a point? A tattoo that only looks like a scar? Hmmm not as easy as it seems to find something worthy of the real story. Stay prone. (A piranha accident? Somehow prone made me think of piranha). I fell in Miami airport recently, running for a connecting flight next to my husband who is now using wheelchairs at the airports (because 2 knee replacements, and because airports are ginormous). I of course said I was fine even though I had seriously skinned my elbow. Blood only I knew about. And we made our connection. No scar. Those are cropping up on my face with each Moh’s surgery. Fun times. Glad you’re ok - and the writing is amazing ❤️!

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Oh baby. I do not run. A) afraid of falling, B) afraid of peeing! Women of a "certain age." I've never met Carlos but it's hard to picture him in a wheelchair. But at least one of you has medical coverage (ouch!). Love you. Thanks for reading.

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Juel Duke's avatar

Though I do have tattoos, I’ve never wanted knuckle tats, until now. Brilliant piece. Thank you for so openly sharing.

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

I’d wanted them forever! Mom is too demented to notice and I’m retired so….thanks for reading lovey

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Prajna O'Hara's avatar

Hi Jody, I love how you make poop funny, I do believe that it could be a new career path for you. That did not go unnoticed.

Thanks for a great time

Hope your feet are all right

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Thanks P. 💕

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Sarah Hauser's avatar

Compelling writing always, i am on the edge of my seat reading. And aargh falls … I often walk down the street singing a melody I am trying to figure out or thinking through words to describe something, and then yikes I don’t notice suddenly there’s that uneven sidewalk or pothole in the street- so I can relate. There is a person who teaches an offshoot of Feldenkrais that is called Bones for life and sometimes they have free intro classes- great work to help being grounded and to have better balance. Dm me if u want more info❤️

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My Wonder Ride's avatar

Beautifully written

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Thank you. 💕

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Judy McGuire's avatar

Love this, Jodi. When my hips were at their worst, I fell on my face twice and before that, never realized how humiliating it is to fall. Especially when you're all crumpled and are having trouble standing. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Love to you and the poop hoarder. xo

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Yes! When everyone is standing around trying to help and you're, leave me alone, just letting the pain pass. I get up like a toddler, ass first. This time I finally was ready to let someone help me, blood pouring down my face (because head wounds bleed a lot) and some guy walks by and says, "Are you okay?" No, I say, No I'm not. And he kept on walking... two other nice folks stopped, but that one guy. All good. Stitches came out today. I need a good story for the scar. Start thinking...

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Victoria's avatar

I can imagine a couple of stories

'Bar Fight'...just a different kinda bar these days?

A Harry Potter-esque escapade with 'he/anyone who shall not be named'...?

Can't believe that idiot didn't even stop. I'm glad some folks helped.

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Juel Duke's avatar

It’s Halloween, no scarf explanation needed. I walked into the corner of a window air conditioner one time and had similar stitches though within my hairline. I imagined it as a caterpillar. At the emergency clinic, the gauze was wrapped around my forehead and perpendicular, from crown around to jaw. It was, fortunately, Halloween week. Instant mummy costume!

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Melissa Huffsmith-Roth's avatar

"the mirror reflects someone named, “Ma’am” in rhinestoned readers and comfortable shoes" that is so real and hilarious

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Thanks, Mitzy. Love you long time.

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Kelly Thompson TNWWY's avatar

Omg Jodi! Thank you for starting my day in the best way. I love you. I wish you lived next-door. And socks with sandals? Aghast. This aging shit ain’t for sissies. 😘

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Shit no it ain’t.

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Nancy Jainchill's avatar

Ay Ay Ay. Keep dancing. I fell 2 weeks ago, arm straight out, elbow broken. Better than my head. Be careful!

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

That sound so painful. I have yet to break an elbow (pu, pu, pu). Bubble suits. I need a bubble suit. They should send it all of us once we hit a certain age. Would save on medical bills immensely! Feel better.

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Nancy Jainchill's avatar

You too. Heal easily.

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Judith Hannah Weiss's avatar

back at you.

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Judith Hannah Weiss's avatar

Really good work. Thank you.

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

That means so much coming from you, I'm a huge admirer. 💕 Thank for reading.

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Deborah Sosin's avatar

You are a brilliant writer and a brilliant soul and I think you're amazing. Are those stitches from NOW? Oy! So sorry. Keep dancing, my friend. Thinking of you always.

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Oh yes, my latest fashion accessory. It's been suggested I go as Frankenstein for Halloween. Having them removed today. Thank you for your generous words.

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Leslie Senevey's avatar

The indignities of life. If you can’t deal with a walker, maybe a cane? As a fellow faller, I get the resistance. Dancing is good for the body and soul, so I’m glad you’re dancing even if it is for poop. Also, I am in the beginning stages of the lip reading scenario you mention. Sigh. And you made me lol at banana slug. Hang in there friend. It may be an interminably long season, but it’s a season that will pass. (Much like the poop.)

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

I’m thinking a bubble suit? An inflatable frog costume? Something that will bounce. Thanks for checking in lovey.

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Leslie Senevey's avatar

I saw a story on these giant mechanical tails that people in Asia somewhere are wearing to help them balance. True story.

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Well if you come across it again, pass it on. I am not above wearing a tail....

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Alzheimer's, my mother, and me's avatar

I'm so sorry you're going through this. It's amazing what we find the strength to do.

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Jodi Sh. Doff's avatar

Thanks, Judy. It’s all good. Every day above ground as they say. Still standing…most of the time. 😉

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Nan Tepper's avatar

Oh, Jodi. I kept thinking about you last week, wondering why I hadn't seen much of you in the feed. I love your writing so much. Funny as fuck, dark as night, and unique as can be. I can't understand why pulling poop is your least favorite thing, though. It's not fun? Sounds like it would be a blast. And a walker? If it helped keep you safe? I don't like it that your shayne punim gets battered like that, BUT, you seem to weather these occasions well. Ya gorgeous, doll, in all the ways.

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