I spent 5 years overseeing the care of my mom as she was preparing to depart this world. I just want to say that I honor and respect the gift you have given your momma. I know what it’s cost you. I also know it’s made her completion time more peaceful and safe. I was personally grateful for our long goodbye—together.
I love you, I love Ma and feel like I know her, and I love how you care for her and love her. Boy is she lucky to have you. And is that the bear phone I got for her? What's the ring like? xo
You are a brave and loving person, thank you for sharing your mum's journey and your journey too. We are just at the very beginning of this journey with my mum, and to see the love and trust in all these photos has given me some hope. Plus the practical stuff is really helpful! Thank you.
Thank you. Please, reach out if I can help in any way, or you need to vent. I have a page of resources. Educate yourself and get support (emotional & physical). Sending love. 💕
Sometimes. Sometimes she stares into space. Sometimes she's smiling at one of the invisible people (they are very funny, apparently). I'll take it however it comes. Thanks for reading. 💕
Thanks Deb. That reminds me of when Mom would see a new baby, one that wasn't particularly attractive—you know the kind, they look like squished little old men? She'd say, "Now that's a baby!" 😉
LOL. I love your mom. My mother would likely whisper, "Oy, what a Mieskeit" (ugly person). Nice, Mom. I hated it as a child but what could I do? I notice my own similar judgments about people's appearance or language quirks arising out of conditioning and I'm working hard to be more compassionate and accepting. XO
This is such a cinematic experience. I wish I lived in NYC to visit - but between the writing, the photos, and the overall immersion into your experiences and perspectives -- there I am. And Poor Sad Kevin Eileen is there too. Happy Birthday in case I forget to say so tomorrow (and if I remember - there's no reason not to send wishes on multiple occasions.) Thank you for being you.
Thanks Ro. I wish you lived closer too. The great thing about the interwebz is people you meet once, as we did, can actually become part of and witness each others lives. The downside is spending less time with IRL humans. Love you and your furballs. I see Kirsten is moving East, not NY, but closer and we’ve stayed in touch since that one afternoon. Life is so weird.
As I was reading how things changed and then went away, it reminded me of Dad and how things just kept needing change to keep up with his ever-declining abilities. He never stopped trying to do the Wall Street Journal crossword puzzle, but his ability to get any words right was long gone. I love reading your stuff - your brutal honesty and sense of humor always resonate with me.
Thanks Kirbie. The hardest thing I think is realizing there is no "new normal" because it's all a moving target. Thank YOU for all you're doing for the caregiver community, for the people they're caring for. We are WARRIOR WOMENS!
Sigh. The paraphernalia of care so well described, Jodi. And I was very touched by your closing comment about what is taking up LESS space: "Her. Mom gets steadily smaller, thinner, shorter. The physical substance of her is shrinking." That was what struck me about my own parents as they became more and more frail. All the gubbins around them, but they themselves took up such a small space.
I do fantasize about how much room I'll get back, eventually, even though I know it will feel empty sometimes, other times it will feel...spacious and breezy. And I like passing the DME stuff along. Her insurance pays for almost everything, we're lucky, so passing it along for free seems to be the only right thing to do, yeah?
I love that you bring so much humor, and lots of love, into this long, endless slog of trying to problem solve and buy stuff to keep them going. I'm there too. A mountain of equipment and gizmos piles up, at the same time the sense of loss and grieving piles up, while they themselves shrink and fade away. It's a lot - you're a hero. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you can get out and do something life affirming this week. I've got one this week too. I'm taking 3 days off to drive to the quiet woods, just to listen to trees and re-set my nervous system.
Happy Birthday to you! That sounds like a plan. A really nice re-set. I don't know if I could shut my brain off that completely. I keep looking at those Getaway cabins in the woods that look so dreamy and I'm vacillating between doing nothing tomorrow (the actual day) but sleeping in, taking a writing seminar I signed up and paid for (but it'll be recorded so, I won't actually miss it if I skip it) or spending time with my bestie. You know exactly what I mean when I wonder how much I have the energy for and sleep is soooo appealing. Happy birthday sister girl. 💕🎂
Always a brilliant, funny-heartbreaking reality check filled with love bombs. I didn’t necessarily full-on cry, but the tears definitely welled up reading this one. Love u. Yes, and bless.
Your recounting of the nitty gritty shows us how difficult this all is and reinforces over and over again the Jewish saint that you are!! I hope you will eventually write a book using all of your documentations. I bet people would find it incredibly helpful! In any case, YOU are doing shit loads, not just for your mom, but to educate and de-stigmatize dementia. caregiving, family love and devotion.
Yes, that's me. A Jewish saint. Who was the last Jewish saint? Ah, yes, that little boy from Nazareth, no? I originally thought there'd be a book, but I don't see it. I don't think I'm a book writers, actually. I think I'm an essayist. A columnist. I'm comfortable with that and there are a lot of books already out there, but I do appreciate your confidence and support.🙏🏼 I'll be thinking of you this weekend as I attend the "cousins" pool party. Mostly to get the info on some of the way back generations before Fred, Stan and Morty's generation is lost.
Jodi thank you for sharing all this with so much love and honesty and humor! I know your posts have to be so helpful on so many levels for people who are going through this with a loved one. And such moving, powerful reading for anyone to experience. Thank you!❤️
I spent 5 years overseeing the care of my mom as she was preparing to depart this world. I just want to say that I honor and respect the gift you have given your momma. I know what it’s cost you. I also know it’s made her completion time more peaceful and safe. I was personally grateful for our long goodbye—together.
Thanks, for your kind words and your experience. I'm grateful, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't like a few more years on my own.
They are coming…
In the meantime, I’m sending you Love and Light. ✨💛✨
I love you, I love Ma and feel like I know her, and I love how you care for her and love her. Boy is she lucky to have you. And is that the bear phone I got for her? What's the ring like? xo
Yes my love, that is your bear and as to the ring, like a dog whistle, only she can hear it.
Super!
I love what you did here, Jodi. So much stuff, so much love.
Your home will feel so empty when she's gone, but I hope your heart will always feel full thanks to this time and care you've given her.
You are a brave and loving person, thank you for sharing your mum's journey and your journey too. We are just at the very beginning of this journey with my mum, and to see the love and trust in all these photos has given me some hope. Plus the practical stuff is really helpful! Thank you.
Thank you. Please, reach out if I can help in any way, or you need to vent. I have a page of resources. Educate yourself and get support (emotional & physical). Sending love. 💕
Smiling all the way through
Your mama love oozes…
She’s stunning in bubbles and bibs.
“Half voyeur - half jerk” adorable…
So good
I needed this
Thank you Jodi
Have the best birthday ever
Cheers to you!
You leave me speechless. Your caring and humor and perseverance. Your mom still seems to smile a lot. Wow.
Sometimes. Sometimes she stares into space. Sometimes she's smiling at one of the invisible people (they are very funny, apparently). I'll take it however it comes. Thanks for reading. 💕
Wow, Jodi. What a compilation of words and images! Bravo on the effort and the message, as always, is so, so moving!
Thanks Deb. That reminds me of when Mom would see a new baby, one that wasn't particularly attractive—you know the kind, they look like squished little old men? She'd say, "Now that's a baby!" 😉
LOL. I love your mom. My mother would likely whisper, "Oy, what a Mieskeit" (ugly person). Nice, Mom. I hated it as a child but what could I do? I notice my own similar judgments about people's appearance or language quirks arising out of conditioning and I'm working hard to be more compassionate and accepting. XO
Oh, and HAPPY ALMOST-BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!
This is such a cinematic experience. I wish I lived in NYC to visit - but between the writing, the photos, and the overall immersion into your experiences and perspectives -- there I am. And Poor Sad Kevin Eileen is there too. Happy Birthday in case I forget to say so tomorrow (and if I remember - there's no reason not to send wishes on multiple occasions.) Thank you for being you.
Thanks Ro. I wish you lived closer too. The great thing about the interwebz is people you meet once, as we did, can actually become part of and witness each others lives. The downside is spending less time with IRL humans. Love you and your furballs. I see Kirsten is moving East, not NY, but closer and we’ve stayed in touch since that one afternoon. Life is so weird.
As I was reading how things changed and then went away, it reminded me of Dad and how things just kept needing change to keep up with his ever-declining abilities. He never stopped trying to do the Wall Street Journal crossword puzzle, but his ability to get any words right was long gone. I love reading your stuff - your brutal honesty and sense of humor always resonate with me.
Thanks Kirbie. The hardest thing I think is realizing there is no "new normal" because it's all a moving target. Thank YOU for all you're doing for the caregiver community, for the people they're caring for. We are WARRIOR WOMENS!
We are indeed!
Jodi, this is hard stuff, but it is so beautiful written with humor built in. Thank you. Happy birthday.
Sigh. The paraphernalia of care so well described, Jodi. And I was very touched by your closing comment about what is taking up LESS space: "Her. Mom gets steadily smaller, thinner, shorter. The physical substance of her is shrinking." That was what struck me about my own parents as they became more and more frail. All the gubbins around them, but they themselves took up such a small space.
I do fantasize about how much room I'll get back, eventually, even though I know it will feel empty sometimes, other times it will feel...spacious and breezy. And I like passing the DME stuff along. Her insurance pays for almost everything, we're lucky, so passing it along for free seems to be the only right thing to do, yeah?
I love that you bring so much humor, and lots of love, into this long, endless slog of trying to problem solve and buy stuff to keep them going. I'm there too. A mountain of equipment and gizmos piles up, at the same time the sense of loss and grieving piles up, while they themselves shrink and fade away. It's a lot - you're a hero. And HAPPY BIRTHDAY! I hope you can get out and do something life affirming this week. I've got one this week too. I'm taking 3 days off to drive to the quiet woods, just to listen to trees and re-set my nervous system.
Happy Birthday to you! That sounds like a plan. A really nice re-set. I don't know if I could shut my brain off that completely. I keep looking at those Getaway cabins in the woods that look so dreamy and I'm vacillating between doing nothing tomorrow (the actual day) but sleeping in, taking a writing seminar I signed up and paid for (but it'll be recorded so, I won't actually miss it if I skip it) or spending time with my bestie. You know exactly what I mean when I wonder how much I have the energy for and sleep is soooo appealing. Happy birthday sister girl. 💕🎂
Always a brilliant, funny-heartbreaking reality check filled with love bombs. I didn’t necessarily full-on cry, but the tears definitely welled up reading this one. Love u. Yes, and bless.
Thanks, Ames.
Your recounting of the nitty gritty shows us how difficult this all is and reinforces over and over again the Jewish saint that you are!! I hope you will eventually write a book using all of your documentations. I bet people would find it incredibly helpful! In any case, YOU are doing shit loads, not just for your mom, but to educate and de-stigmatize dementia. caregiving, family love and devotion.
Yes, that's me. A Jewish saint. Who was the last Jewish saint? Ah, yes, that little boy from Nazareth, no? I originally thought there'd be a book, but I don't see it. I don't think I'm a book writers, actually. I think I'm an essayist. A columnist. I'm comfortable with that and there are a lot of books already out there, but I do appreciate your confidence and support.🙏🏼 I'll be thinking of you this weekend as I attend the "cousins" pool party. Mostly to get the info on some of the way back generations before Fred, Stan and Morty's generation is lost.
Jodi thank you for sharing all this with so much love and honesty and humor! I know your posts have to be so helpful on so many levels for people who are going through this with a loved one. And such moving, powerful reading for anyone to experience. Thank you!❤️
Thank you Sarah, for reading and your kind words.