Only The Jodi: Life as a Sober, Aging, Dementia Caregiver | Substack

An Aging, Sober Writer Caring for her Nonagenarian Mommy with Dementia. Funny, Lucid, and Heart-Wrenching ™

All the Kübler-Ross stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and eventually, acceptance. And that’s just a Tuesday.

Mar 19 • Jodi Sh. Doff

Episode 11 ❤️‍🩹 1975 : Inside the Champagne Hustle of Go-Go Bars

The strip joint short con known as The Champagne Hustle. How time, money, and illusion really worked in the go-go bars of the 1970s

May 5 • Jodi Sh. Doff

I'm Two Today. Thank You For The Cake And What Comes Next...?

When you read my column, it's cake. Heart, share, or restack it, tastes like frosting. But when you comment? That's lighting a candle so we can find…

Apr 26 • Jodi Sh. Doff

Mom's Childhood Fear Hurt Us in Different Ways

Her fear of being alone defined her as a mother—and shaped my life. A story about childhood impact, dementia, and choosing not to leave.

Apr 21 • Jodi Sh. Doff

What Happens When We Die at Home?

From burrows to Brooklyn, the quiet reality of dying where you live

Apr 15 • Jodi Sh. Doff

"You're saving my sanity & my life with your articles. Thank you. Love, Marta"

only the jodi

I'm Two Today. Thank You For The Cake And What Comes Next...?

When you read my column, it's cake. Heart, share, or restack it, tastes like frosting. But when you comment? That's lighting a candle so we can find…

Apr 26 • Jodi Sh. Doff

What Happens When We Die at Home?

From burrows to Brooklyn, the quiet reality of dying where you live

Apr 15 • Jodi Sh. Doff

I've Dreamed Of Leaving Here My Whole Life

So why am I still here???

Apr 7 • Jodi Sh. Doff

She Knits. I Talk to Pigeons.

Friendships, like apothecary scales, don’t need to contain the same things to balance.

Mar 31 • Jodi Sh. Doff

I Dream of Small Towns. No, He Says, You Don’t

I will never say what you want to hear, but please, continue to explain me to me

Feb 24 • Jodi Sh. Doff

Spoiler Alert: The Dog Dies. So Do You.

TL;DR Spoiler alert: The dog dies. So do you.

Feb 10 • Jodi Sh. Doff

Was I The Only One Who Didn't Know How to Have Friends?

Newly sober, I had a posse of strong women to keep me from drifting away, who saw beauty when all I could see was broken.

Feb 3 • Jodi Sh. Doff

Back Fat, Mom & Me: Denial is Like a Burglar Alarm System Keeping The Bad Things Out of Sight

Originally written ten years ago, not much has changed. I'm still fat. She's still crazy.

Jan 29 • Jodi Sh. Doff

dementia caregiving

Mom's Childhood Fear Hurt Us in Different Ways

Her fear of being alone defined her as a mother—and shaped my life. A story about childhood impact, dementia, and choosing not to leave.

Apr 21 • Jodi Sh. Doff

Hiring Aides for Mom is a Full-Time Job

The good, the bad, and the bizarre

Mar 24 • Jodi Sh. Doff

What Dementia Caregiving Really Looks Like (When No One is Around)

What annoys you now, will be something you look back on fondly

Mar 17 • Jodi Sh. Doff

The Year My Mother Was Seventeen & What Dementia Erased

In 1947, history unfolded around my mother. Now dementia has erased her memories — and my chance to ask what that year meant.

Mar 3 • Jodi Sh. Doff

Beating a Piñata Full of Dementia Diagnoses

We won't know what it is, how to treat it, or how long you'll last, until you've died from it.

Jan 13 • Jodi Sh. Doff

When She Says I Love You, My Heart Breaks

Does she mean it, or is it Stockholm Syndrome?

Dec 2, 2025 • Jodi Sh. Doff

Recommendations

Vance Frost

Write It Like It Is

Deborah Sosin

Come As You Are

Ally Hamilton

Carer Mentor: Empathy & Inspiration

Victoria

Open Secrets Magazine

Open Secrets Magazine

dirtygirl, what I did for love

Episode 11 ❤️‍🩹 1975 : Inside the Champagne Hustle of Go-Go Bars

The strip joint short con known as The Champagne Hustle. How time, money, and illusion really worked in the go-go bars of the 1970s

May 5 • Jodi Sh. Doff

Episode 10 ❤️‍🩹 1975 : Whirling Curvish

The first time I was pretty, I was under a mirrored ball, naked in front of strangers

Feb 17 • Jodi Sh. Doff

Episode 9 ❤️‍🩹 1975: Promiscuity was Easy, but I Wanted to be Seductive

Learning how to be a lady, from the pimp I wanted to work for

Jan 20 • Jodi Sh. Doff

Episode 8 ❤️‍🩹 1975: Unlovable & Invisible, I Became Someone Else

I might never be pretty, but I could learn to be desirable

Dec 22, 2025 • Jodi Sh. Doff

Episode 7 ❤️‍🩹 1975: Robbies Mardi Gras - experience preferred

The ad in the back of the Village Voice that changed my life

Dec 14, 2025 • Jodi Sh. Doff

Episode 5 & 6 ❤️‍🩹 1975 & 2025: the funeral

What happens when your truth and the facts don’t line up?

Dec 9, 2025 • Jodi Sh. Doff

Old Times Square

Jane Dickson's Stories of Times Square circa 1970-80

A Look Back At Terminal Bar, One Of NYC's Most Notorious Dives

Terminal Bar: Official 2002 film. 2003 Sundance Jury Prize winner

Pimps, prostitutes: Times Square of the 1970s seen through the eyes of a bartender

Dangerous Minds

Peep Shows, Pimps and Prostitutes: A Walk on the Wild Side of New York in the 1970s

Times Square’s DARKEST YEARS: Sex, Crime & Survival Before Disney

From Tin Pan Alley to Max Fish

Internet Archive

Complete six part documentary of Stefan Nadelman's short film series

resources

Dementia Care: Recipes & Soundtrack

Easy, healthy pureed meals she loves, and the music that keeps things moving, or calms things down.

Dec 15, 2024 • Jodi Sh. Doff

Dementia Care: It Takes A Village: reading, resources, services, podcasts & media, updated 4.1.26

We can't do this alone.

Aug 29, 2024 • Jodi Sh. Doff

Dementia Care: What to Do When They're Losing Their Mind, So You Don’t Lose Yours Along the Way

Or, Things to Try if You've Ruled Out Murder/Suicide as an Option.

Jul 4, 2024 • Jodi Sh. Doff

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Sober, aging caregiver for a parent w/ dementia, formerly: that naked drunk girl. Funny. Lucid. Heart-wrenching ™ . I write what I know is true. Multiple anthologies, Hippocampus, Oldster, ShortReads…

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Only The Jodi: Life as a Sober, Aging, Dementia Caregiver

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